Vikings, Champagne Boat Tours and lots of NOK!

We touched down in Oslo on a Norwegian Air flight and I can safely say I’ll never complain about British Airways again. At least it was a short flight and the wine was ok, but general service and boarding was pretty terrible.

Aside from the flight, the airport was beautiful and we were through security quickly. The next stage was a train journey into the city centre (or £83 in a taxi!). The train took 20 minutes, cost £18 and was spotless. It was zero faff and took us to the National Theatre stop, only a 5 minute walk to our hotel, the Hotel Bristol, which was an absolute find. It had classic old-world interiors and was perfectly situated, just a five-minute stroll from Aker Brygge, Oslo’s buzzy, waterfront promenade. 


That evening we eased into the city with a steakhouse dinner, followed by a bar crawl that included The Scotsman pub. Oslo nightlife? Surprisingly fun but shockingly expensive! 


DAY TWO: 

We began with a walking tour, which struck the right balance of historical facts and scenic detours. We started off at the Tiger statue, one of the most photographed things in the whole of Oslo, except there were so many tourists hanging about we didn't get one! Oslo is known as "Tigerstaden", or "The Tiger City." The name was first used by Norwegian poet Bjornstjerne Bjornson in his poem "Sidste Sang," describing a fight between a horse and a tiger; the tiger representing the dangerous city and the horse the safe countryside.

We walked towards the Oslo opera house and Munch museum, followed by Akershus Fortress, the Nobel Peace Museum, the Royal Palace and Karl Johans gate, National Theatre, eventually finishing off outside the parliament. It was so hot, all we wanted to do was cool down. It was time to walk back to Aker Brugge and camp out at a bar in the shade!

After a few hours, we swapped pavement for port and joined a boat tour which just happened to be serving Champagne by the glass. Oh, and ice cream!





The sun was so hot, but the champagne was a blessing. We thoroughly enjoyed the trip around the fjords, at least it was a little breezy. Once back into port, we walked back to the hotel a sweaty mess; we showered and changed really quickly before walking to Hyde — Oslo’s answer to the Michelin gods. We went with the usual food and wine pairing which was excellent; the only problem was the fact there was no air conditioning and they had to make us paper fans to try and keep cool. 














DAY THREE: THE CULTURE CRUISE + A MUNCH MELTDOWN

Next morning, we caught the boat to the Museum Peninsula (yes, that’s a real place and yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like). First up: the Kon-Tiki Museum, dedicated to Thor Heyerdahl’s gloriously mad raft journey across the Pacific. Think: oceans, coconuts, and questionable survival decisions. Then straight to the Fram Museum, which involved stepping inside a polar exploration ship that looked like it still smelled faintly of seal blubber and determination.










By mid-afternoon, we were back on the mainland and overheating. Seriously, Oslo was hot — not “European summer” hot, but “consider cancelling all plans and finding the nearest glacier” hot. Instead, we opted for the Munch Museum, which was not only gloriously air-conditioned but also completely fabulous. There are at least 6 floors to wander around as well as three versions of the Scream available to see, although they are on rotation every 30 minutes. After a number of hours on our feet, we thought we better go for a drink in the rooftop terrace bar; there were incredible views but it was quite pricey! We had one drink before sauntering up the Olso Opera house roof walk with its marble covered roof; it was still too hot so didn't stay too long.





Post-art, we headed back to the hotel for what had become our daily ritual: a quick shower and an outfit change. Now for the chaotic part of the trip: dinner. A credit card issue meant no one was buying dinner anytime soon, and neither of us had any cash. After a comically frustrating wander around the city centre and a few failed attempts to get cash out, we gave in and landed at TGI Friday’s. Thankfully they didn't have the same card issue, we were starving and delighted!

FINAL DAY: 

Our flight wasn’t until later, so we had a full morning to kill. The Nobel Peace Museum was closed due to the heat so we wandered next door to the National Museum, which was a calm, cool, beautifully curated surprise. From Edvard Munch to mid-century furniture and modern photography, it was huge but we tried to do it justice in the few hours we had.




Afterwards, we went back to one of our favourite places. Jarmann Gastropub. We grabbed food and a couple of drinks before returning to the hotel for our bags. We walked back to the National Theatre train station, making it to the airport, along with a bunch of rowdy football fans. Check-in and security was quick, so we headed to the nearest bar to drown our sorrows and wait for the flight back to Edinburgh!

Would we return? Absolutely. But next time, I’m packing SPF 50 and cash! 

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